From Chaos to Calm

We are living in unusual times, times of uncertainty and collective stress. It can be challenging to keep an even keel, when the waves around us are so turbulent. But the good news is there are ways to keep on our course, no matter what.

Start with where you are: Come into a place of safety. Ask yourself am I feeling safe in this moment – yes. Can I breathe into this moment. Yes. Feel your feet on the ground, your seat on the chair. You are here now, and it is OK. Yes. Inhale for a count of 4, hold for 6, slower exhale for 6. This slower exhale engages the parasympathetic system, so you can relax, and come back to your body.

Name It  To Tame It: Coined byDr. Dan Siegel, this is a quick and effective way to bring what you are feeling to the surface of your awareness, so it can be dealt with. Sometimes the feelings are big and obvious , like anger, but at other times, they may be somewhat buried (like guilt or shame) and require a deeper look.  That's where the Wheel of Emotions comes in. Created by Dr Gloria Wilcox, this help give our emotions words, so that they can be dealt with . The Feelings Wheel looks like this. 

One example is if you are feeling fearful, is it feeling scared, anxious, insecure, weak rejected or threatened? Each is slightly different. If, you’re pinpoint that you’re feeling anxious, is it feeling overwhelmed or are you worried?

This help is deciding what to do next. If you’re overwhelmed, there’s too much going on, or it certainly feels that way. See how you can recenter and look at what you can remove from your to-do list. If on the other hand, you are worried, that begs the consideration, “Is this something that I control, or is it totally beyond my control.” If it’s not in your control, like getting a raise or being laid off, then worrying about it will not change the outcome. Instead of getting stuck in “what if” land, remind yourself that you can handle difficult situations.

Give yourself a routine. When the world around you is increasingly chaotic, you will find anchors when you lean into your own internal pillars. One excellent way is adopting the 20-20-20 morning routine. You are reserving the first hour of the day for you. It looks like this. Get up early (which means make sure you go to bed at a decent time) and spend

• 20 minutes on exercise, like gentle yoga, stretching
• 20 minutes on reflection. This can involve meditating, being in stillness, writing in a journal… It is your chance to commune with that quiet, confident and capable part of yourself (you may call it your future self, and even journal “Future Self, what would you have me know today.” See what comes through… That can be a powerful exercise.
• 20 minutes on personal growth. This can be a podcast, a book or TED Talk you are enjoying. Whatever you choose it has to be personally inspiring.

Stay Connected

Especially during stressful times, make sure not to self-isolate and believe you are alone. This is the time to reach out to friends or trusted family and talk, get together, and regularly check in with each other. We are social animals – we need each other. That and laughter go a long way.

Gratitude Wherever You Can Find It

Life does not have to be “perfect” to be grateful for the slices of joy that spark our days. Even the simplest things count – a great cup of tea, the sun on your back, a smile exchanged in the grocery store. And, as you probably know, whatever we focus on grows. So not only be on the lookout for beautiful moments, but savor them, and express your gratitude either to others too.

All these together promote a more resilient approach to living and serve as a buffer when there is turbulence in the air. Even if the outside world is crazy, you have more control of your own experience than you may realize.