From Numb to Alive: Unlock Joy with the Five V’s

If you have ever felt like you were living on a treadmill, overwhelmed by world events, taking care of everyone else’s needs with no time to even register your own, you may be sliding into emotional numbness…and you are not alone.

So many people "seem" like they have it together: navigating stress, meeting goals at work, attending to family responsibilities, nothing is falling through the cracks… They handle it all, "I'll just eat lunch at my desk, so I can leave on time." Or not ask for help, "It's just easier if I do it." Or even postpone going to the bathroom, so they're on lime for that call." For real - this is a thing! 

Then they wonder why underneath all that productivity, busy calendars, and nonstop tension, windows of joy are getting smaller, and life is just becoming more grey.

A feeling of disconnection/ isolation develops from who knows where, and even though it all looks darn good good from the outside, there’s an emptiness growing on the inside. 

In this culture, it's very common to mistake constant motion/ productivity for authentic well-being, never realizing the burnout, anxiety, and sadness are building up behind our “success” mask. Many of us are actually rewarded for being driven, perfectionist, goal-oriented people who have been trained to measure our self-worth by how much we achieve.

So, we become doing machines, rather than sensitive beings who are aware of, and honor our own needs, as well as those of others. Sometimes this stems from childhood emotional neglect, or early trauma, and takes years to show up.

The good news is that there are tools to help us reignite our capacity for joy, and it is possible to let go of the mask of productivity and reconnect with what makes us feel more alive.

Dr. Judith Joseph, an acclaimed psychiatrist, trauma researcher, and author of High Functioning offers a framework called the 5 V’s to combat what is called Anhedonia.

I hadn’t heard that term before and learned that it's a a type of depression that prevents people from experiencing pleasure from activities that were once enjoyable. When we are out of step with what aligns with our bodies, minds and souls, the resulting feelings are now known as HFC or High Functioning Depression. (different than the can't get out of bed type).

Whether it be: social interactions that now feel flat, accomplishments that now feel empty, sadness or low energy without a specific cause, or even feeling guilt or shame. As in, I should be happy; what’s wrong with me?

It turns out that the problem is not anyone's fault; it’s a combination of past and present situations that can now actually be identified and improved upon. 

Introducing the Five V’s: A Roadmap Back to Joy

Validation

Validation means giving yourself full permission to be aware of AND feel your emotions without judgment. Whether it’s grief, anger, or tiredness, acknowledging these feelings—especially those tied to past trauma or current stressors—is the first step toward healing. Dr. Dan Seigel says "Name it to Tame it" Dr. Joseph emphasizes that emotional self-recognition slays the false belief that we must always “keep it together” to matter.

Venting

Left unchecked, frustration and anxiety build up like excess steam in a pressure cooker. Venting gives a safe way to release this pressure. It could be writing in a journal, chatting with a trusted friend, or channeling emotions into creative outlets like painting or movement. The goal is simple: release what’s bubbling up before it becomes overwhelming.

Values

When was the last time you checked in with what truly matters to you? Values are the core principles—like family, creativity, kindness, growth—that infuse life with meaning. This "V" guides us to list and rank top five values, then align our daily choices with those priorities. This clarity helps us say “no” to distractions that deplete our energy and “yes” to what nourishes our soul.

Vitals Just as doctors monitor blood pressure and heart rate, we learn to track six vital signs of emotional health: sleep, appetite, energy, mood, concentration, and enjoyment of activities. By tuning in to these signals—perhaps in a quick morning check-in—we notice when we’re veering off balance and can course-correct before burnout sets in.

Vision Vision is about cultivating hope and celebrating progress.  it embraces small wins—a peaceful weekend morning, finishing a good book, or reaching out to an old friend. By setting realistic intentions and marking milestones (even tiny ones), we fuel forward momentum that feels both achievable and deeply fulfilling..

Everyday Applications of the Five V’s

Putting these tools into play doesn’t mean overhauling your life; it’s about subtle shifts that grow into profound change. Here’s how to integrate each “V” into your typical week:

• Validation Begin each day with a two-minute emotional check-in. Close your eyes, take three deep breaths, and silently ask, “What am I feeling right now?” Name the emotion—anxiety, exhaustion, excitement—and acknowledge it without trying to fix it.

• Venting Schedule a weekly “brain dump.” Set a timer for ten minutes to write every thought, fear, and frustration on a page—no filters, no edits. You’ll be amazed at how much mental clutter you can clear in a short span.

• Values Create a “values north star” cue card. On one side, list your top five values; on the other, jot down daily tasks that align with each. Place this card on your desk or fridge to remind you why you do what you do.

• Vitals Use a simple chart or tracker app to log your sleep hours, mood rating (1–10), and energy level every morning. Check for patterns—do low-sleep nights predict grumpy mornings? Early detection lets you act in advance.

• Vision Close each week by celebrating three wins. They can be as small as “I took a 15-minute walk” or as big as “I finished that assignment.” Writing these successes down rewires our brains to notice what is working.

From Short-Term Relief to Sustainable Joy

While the Five V’s offer immediate relief, Dr. Joseph stresses that lasting transformation comes from consistency and compassion toward yourself. Here are a few more strategies to reinforce your emotional reset:

• Build Rituals Rituals anchor us. Whether it’s a bedtime stretch routine, a weekly nature walk, or a gratitude journal entry each morning, rituals signal safety to your nervous system and cultivate stability.

• Expand Your Support Network High achievers often feel they must go it alone. Instead, try tapping into professional help—therapy, support groups—or simply expanding your circle of understanding friends. Sharing your journey reduces shame and solidifies accountability.

• Revisit your values quarterly. Life evolves, and so do what matters to you.

• Experiment with different venting methods—sing in the shower, sculpt with clay, vent on a punching bag.

• Use your vivid vision to dream bigger dreams once you’ve reclaimed small joys.

Call to Action: Prioritize Yourself Today

It’s easy to extend kindness, energy, and support to others while overlooking our own needs. Dr. Judith Joseph reminds us that tending to our emotional well-being isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When we refill our own cup, we become more present, empathetic, and effective in every relationship and endeavor.

Take a moment now:

• Pause and breathe.
• Name one emotion you’re carrying.
• Choose one “V” to practice today to let it go.

That simple gesture is actually the first step toward reclaiming joy. Little by little, you will retrain your brain to know that joy matters, and your joy matters a lot. What if you made that higher on your list of priorities.

What would that look like? Are you willing to give it a shot?